Recently, I had a day of simple, pure, and unadulterated joy of being a mother. It’s not that that doesn’t happen very often, it actually does happen at least once or twice on a daily basis, (with hugs, kisses, cuddles and tickle sessions) but it was so completely obvious to me that my daughter and I were so cocooned in our own sheer moment, in a little bubble, giggling away to ourselves, swimming in the water that I simply had to write about it and commit it to paper.

Most of the time, when I sit down and write, I am usually writing to get something off my chest, or I am wrangling with my thoughts or feelings on a particular subject. More often than not, I am standing at the precipice of having to make a choice (I tend to procrastinate, then stress out, then journal, stress some more and then end up making a decision).

I’ve been doing a lot of reading about how to juggle or manage this motherhood shenanigan in all its glory (my current obsession is Dr. Morgan Cutlip). My sister at this point would tease me and say I am trying to “nerd out” at being a mom and do what I did all through school and university which was study, take notes and try and get good grades, but the irony is that while that approach worked then and for that, the messy, gloriousness of motherhood, is not always suited to that approach. Motherhood, at the very least, one needs a more practical, instinctual, and hands-on approach – and there is no one-size-fits all or “study this,” and you’ll pass. In the words of Alicia Silverstone: As if!

There are thousands, if not millions, of mothers out there who feel like I do, and when you’re a stay-at-home-mom sometimes it feels as if you can get a little too deep into your own headspace (when I say a little, let’s be honest, I mean a lot). As SAHM most of your family and friends are working a 9-5 job and while they can shoot of a text message (or a few) in return, it’s not the same as having someone around where you can verbalise your inner ideas, dialogue, thought or decision-making processes. While you may have time for a phone call during lunch or naptime, they more than likely don’t have the time then. The unfortunate irony is that when they do have time (usually after work while walking to the underground or on the bus), I’ve entered the twilight zone (hours 5 to 7pm) where the countdown to bedtime has hit like a tornado making landfall and let me just tell you this: “the twilight zone” is not unlike it being 2am in an Irish nightclub, when “Last Order!” is being called, and chaos ensues.

And while my little one is really coming into her own when it comes to discussions and conversations right now, she’s just started stringing sentences together, and as such, there really isn’t much happening in the ways of deep conversations about current affairs, the war or the psychology of being a mom (although she is an expert haggler). As a result, sometimes, it’s possible to get quite bogged down with the daily hurdles coupled with the speed of how quickly things happen and keep going, that it’s hard to “stop” and focus on those moments or pure happiness or contentment that also come with motherhood.

The current trend (I use that word lightly) of “glimmers” – as opposed to triggers – just has a magical hold on me. It may sound cheesy or naive or even silly, but I imagine them to be little Tinkerbells spreading fairy dust – little glimmers of contentment and happiness – in a day that can be completely gung-ho and insane. I find the concept fascinating because often throughout my life, I’ve had those moments, and I count myself lucky (when I have enough sleep and coffee and can think straight enough to be grateful). It has taken motherhood, grief, and a perspective shift to find – and create – but most importantly, acknowledge those moments in the daily mundane. And it can be anything – that’s the beauty of it: from the smell of a cup of coffee or taking a deep breath of country air and smelling the scene of something catapulting you back to memories of playing outside as a child. It’s absolutely wonderful. I am probably completely late to the “mindful” train phenomenon, but that’s my interpretation of it.

And bringing me back to that moment is this absolute core memory for me of being in the pool with my daughter and just feeling so absolutely content and happy and proud. There were two absolute “Glimmer moments” where I could feel my heart swell with pride and love at my sassy, beautiful little girl.

The first was when we were in the changing rooms and we had a little changing cabin and she was patiently taking in her surroundings, going with the flow, observing and watching what I was doing and what was going on around her. She loves her little adventures and excursions (as long as she is with someone she knows), and her curiosity is adorable. We finished changing, and as we stepped outside into the main changing room area, I handed her her own towel, and she said “thanks, you’re welcome” (she thinks they go together and has to say both herself) and turned to walk towards the pool entrance. She’s just turned two and yet she seemed so like a little girl already in her swimming togs, confidently marching down the aisle, I just had to smile at her and remind myself that the last time we’d been at the therme she couldn’t even walk. Now, here she was, telling me to “c’mon” and carrying her own towel.

The second moment was when we were with some friends of ours and when we went to a slightly bigger pool. She wore her arm floaters properly for the first time, and oh my, the sheer happiness when she could hold my hands, but kick herself through the water and float, was just indescribable to see. The absolute delight at the water, she just loved the feeling, and I loved watching her smile and sharing something that made me part of “me,” and now she was experiencing it.

They were both simple moments – glimmers of fairy dust and ones I’ll cherish forever. They weren’t planned or orchestrated or caught on camera… They simply just ‘were’.

And while those two moments were uniquely special, the entire day, I felt quite content and lucky (must have had plenty of coffee that day). I managed some great adult conversations with two parents, talking about anything and everything, having a laugh while parenting and swimming together. The journey to the pool, the easy access, the fair price, the fact that I lived in Austria, and could avail of this, made me feel incredibly content, lucky and wealthier in so many ways that the Glimmer Fairy truly was working overtime that day!